Tag Archives: poetry

Poetry for the Young Realist: No One Likes A Puritan

Happy Thanksgiving. Let’s not forget why America exists in the first place…because some people are so hard to be around that you have to send them off to the “New World.”

Before I get accused of being the Thanksgiving Grinch…I’m thankful for many things. In particular this year I’m thankful for my little stowaway and her father.

No One Likes A Puritan

I. We celebrate each late November

A date we know we should remember

When persecuted pilgrims sailed

Across the ocean and prevailed

Upon these rocky shores.

Don’t think the story is completed

With tales of corn and natives greeted.

That boat contained some noble envoys

But they were joined by royal killjoys.

No one liked the Puritans.*

II. If you shun your well-dressed neighbor

And never greet or grant them favors,

If you refuse to house-or-dogsit

Your principals may justify it

But no one likes a Puritan.

No One Likes a Puritan - Gay Rabbits

III. When you say “no” to every party

Especially when the crowd is arty

It’s true you’ll never face temptation…

For fun, or mirth, or celebration.

That’s why folks hate Puritans.

No One Likes a Puritan - Snake Party

IV. Food and beverages are fun

And, yes, often overdone.

But turning down each scrumptious pleasure

Makes you seem more grim than measured.

It’s tough to be a Puritan.

No One Likes a Puritan - Turtle Wine

V. A joke can be both crass and funny

Concerning poop or sex or money.

If you don’t deign to laugh along

Insisting that it would be wrong

No one will like you, Puritan.

No One Likes a Puritan - Vermin Poker

VI. While your beliefs may be sincere,

Your values too may be held dear,

It is your right to hold them firm

And not to compromise or squirm.

But people may not like you.

So like the Pilgrims long ago

If your answer’s always “No,”

Don’t be surprised if no one sees

The beauty of your earnesty

And wishes you’d set sail.

Historical Footnote:

* We know that no one liked them, because they were persecuted. People don’t persecute people they like.

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“Sometimes It’s Best to Lie”: Poetry for the Young Realist

Dear World,

Please please please don’t take this little poem too seriously…I really really really don’t intend to start a conversation on how it’s never best to lie, how you would tell the truth even if it hurt someone in the short term, the exact nature of a lie, etc. It’s just some late night musings on the times when you realize that, “yes, the whole polite world expects me NOT to say exactly what I’m thinking at this moment.”

Of course, if you are now wondering if you are the extended family, neighbor, or friend who was lied to, the answer is most certainly, “of course not.”

Sincerely,

Bekah

Sometimes It’s Best to Lie

I.

You’ve always learned to tell the truth,

And surly you must try.

But sometimes to be kind or couth

You have to tell a lie.

Don’t ever lie to save your skin.

Don’t lie to hurt another.

A lie is not the way to win,

It’s a way to love your brother.

II.

When your sibling’s choice couture

Be it dress or tie

Makes them look like furniture

Sometimes it’s best to lie,

elephants

III.

When dear granny’s getting old

And she forgets your size

Her gifts may smell of cats and mold.

You’ll have to tell some lies.

hedgehogs

IV.

When your host has burnt the beef

Or undercooked the pie

There’s no need to cause him grief.

Just tell a gracious lie.

dogs

V.

When your buddy’s lost a game

You know how hard he tried

The brutal truth would cause him shame

You’ll be glad you lied.

pigs

VI.

When great-auntie buys you junk

That makes you wonder, “Why???”

Don’t act like an ungrateful punk

Just suck it up and lie.

skunk

VII.

When sharing cold hard facts of life

It’s easy to be jaded.

But when your thoughts could stir up strife

They may be better shaded.

Though few would outright tell you this,

They would say be polite

But manners, tact, and thoughtfulness

Are knowing when to lie.

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