Tag Archives: puppy

Florence’s So-Called Life, Season 1, ep 9

In which Florence experiences her first bout of puppy love.

(read in the voice of Florence, which sounds uncannily like a 14-year-old Claire Danes)

Sigh…so this is love.

I guess I just…didn’t get it. I mean, it’s like, for your whole life there’s really just one human male that you trust and want to spend time with. Your Lewis.

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I love my Lewis. He plays with me, gives me treats, even takes me out running. I thought that this was the only human male I’d ever really need in my life. Like human girls think they are going to marry their dads. Continue reading

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Florence’s So-Called Life: Season 1, Episode 2

In this episode Florence continues to be humiliated by her parents, but also is forced to over come her fears.

(Read in the voice of Florence, which sounds a lot like a 14-year-old Claire Danes)

Going to the vet. I just don’t get why we have to do it. It’s this…thing…that keeps looming on the horizon. Making my dinner taste like guilt.

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All they do is weigh me (which is humiliating) and get me wound up. I know I’m going to pee on the floor and upset my parents, but I can’t help it. There’s something about the way the vet tech talks in that high, excited, goo-goo tone that just makes me so…. happy? Then she pets me…and I pee. Every time.

But then she says, “Wow, what a big girl.” And I’m like, “We all know what that means. Just say it. Why can’t we just be… real?”

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And then there’s my parents. They have this, like, need for me to get in and out of the car by myself. They are perfectly capable of lifting me. 60 pounds is not going to kill them.

We sat like this for a long time, since all they are going to offer as bait are those “organic” cookies they buy. Seriously guys, Milkbone. One little incident with a brand new Costco-sized bag of treats and suddenly we only eat “organic.”

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And then…I did it. I made the jump. Maybe I am a “big girl.” Maybe I am ready to start getting in and out of the car by myself.

But then my parents made this big deal over my jump. I looked up and the boxer across the street was watching. The one with the big, sweet eyes. So was edgy Delilah, who lives next door and plays under the house. I thought I was going to die.

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